Transgender Day of Visibility, Love Letters to Trans People

We are living in a time that feels eerily reminiscent of the past, a time that demands we acknowledge, understand, and learn from the history of our community. The present is our ACT UP: Fight Back moment. A moment that requires us to be brave, bold, and beautiful. A moment that demands we LIVE.

In this moment, the love we have for ourselves, for each other, and for our community is the most powerful tool we possess. I am writing this today, speaking directly to you, to remind you: I love you, I value you, and I am so grateful that you are here, fighting alongside me.

There is endless beauty in a community that has continually shown up for each other throughout history. We have cried, celebrated, shared joy, mourned, grieved, held each other up, inspired one another, and saved each other.

I am fully aware of how terrifying this moment in time is, but I am also certain that our love for each other will carry us through. Slowly but surely, we are changing hearts, we are changing minds. I know this to be true because I, myself, have been fundamentally changed, for the better, by the transgender people in my life.

While some of the below letters are named, they are truly, deeply, and lovingly meant for all of you. I hope you see yourselves in my words, in my hope, and in my love.

To:

Wormy,
Once upon a time, we were freshmen in high school, and I was lucky enough to sit next to you in Science class. I was immediately drawn to your infectious laugh, your designer mohawk, and your fearless authenticity. Before meeting you, I believed gender and sex were binary, that we had to live our lives a certain way based on the bodies we were given, rather than what or how we felt inside. You taught me the most important lesson of my life: to ask questions, to challenge myself, to step outside of my comfort zone, to question gender norms and gender itself, to question sexuality, and, most importantly, to give myself the space to explore who I am at my core, but only when I was ready. I love you.

P,
For so long, I felt isolated as a trans person in the American workforce. I felt forced to hide who I was, to let people misgender me, disrespect me, or to be outright hateful just for the mere chance at getting another step ahead in my career. In our time working together, as you became my best friend, you taught me what bravery, resilience, and strength look like. You showed me how to be relentless and fearless, to show up with painted nails in hyper-masculine spaces, to wear clothes that defy the assumptions others make about us, to constantly challenge the binary we’ve been put in since childhood, to be brave, to fight like hell for what is right. I love you.

S,
In a world that tries to crush creativity, care for others, and spirits, you’ve shown up for me, and our community, in ways I could never have imagined. You’ve taught me what it means to truly care about community, to be in community, and how that community feels more and more like family every day. You've shown me how to stay positive even when everything feels like a nightmare, and how it’s okay to ask for help, comfort, and time. I love you.

Rem,
I’ve long awaited someone who understands what it’s like to have a mind that isn’t always kind, someone who feels deeply in ways most people can’t comprehend. But more than that, I’ve waited for someone to love me the way you love your friends, someone who loves me how I feel I love others. Your love is fierce, and it should be envied by all. It’s raw, authentic, and knows no limits. I challenge myself every day to love like you do, because if everyone could love the way you do, I wouldn’t be writing this letter. I love you.

Kein,
You remind me daily that the world needs more adults who still possess a child-like wonder. You’ve taught me the importance of not taking myself too seriously, of laughing, of relaxing, and simply existing together. In a world that pushes constant productivity, that assigns value based on output, you’ve reminded me that nothing is more precious than our time together, whether baking cookies or enjoying nature. I love you.

Elders,
Words cannot capture the gratitude I feel for the history you’ve created, and for the stories and traditions you’ve passed on. I’m deeply thankful for the joy that ballroom and drag culture have brought to our community, and for how these historical pillars have been at the forefront of our fight for rights. I am grateful for the sacrifices you’ve made, ensuring we don’t have to start from nothing, but can build on a legacy that requires only love, joy, and us. I honor you. I love you.

Youth,
I am on the far side of being proud of you. Proud of your bravery in such a scary world. Proud of your authenticity and your ability to express yourselves in a world that often prizes conformity. Proud of your decision to choose love over hate, especially when that hate is directed at you.

I know there are days when you feel afraid, uncertain, and unsafe. Those feelings are real, challenging even, but they also mean you’re alive, that you feel, and that you are growing.

I am reminded of the lyrics in a song written by SOPHIE: “I can see the truth through all the lies, and even after all this time, just know you’ve nothing to hide. It’s okay to cry.”

I hope those words hold the same power for you that they’ve held for me. We know the truth. We know our truth. We see the lies, that gender-affirming care is dangerous, that transgender people are groomers, that we don’t deserve safety, protections, or the right to make choices for ourselves.

After all this time, through decades of struggle and resistance, we are still standing. We have nothing to hide, and as the present feels overwhelming, remember, it’s okay to cry.

We resist. We persist. We build.

There is something beautiful to be said about being young, so sure of yourselves, so strong, so resilient. You are our present and our future, and we will keep fighting for and alongside you. But remember this: It’s not you who should admire us; it’s we who should admire you. I love you.

My sweet transgender brothers, sisters, and all those in between and beyond,
We have existed since the beginning of time, and we will continue to exist for as long as time. Our history is rich with love, resilience, and tenacity, a fight that can never be taken from us. Through every struggle, moment of despair, or victory, we have walked a path marked by the relentless strength of those who came before us, and it is now time for us to leave a path for future generations to follow.

You are meant to be here in this moment, with me, with us. Your existence in this moment is not a coincidence. Your presence, your thoughts, your actions are all of great importance. You are an invaluable piece of our story, of our community, of our love and joy. This moment, this place, is exactly where you are meant to be. You are meant to change, to evolve, to grow, but most importantly, you are meant to live.

Live fully, loudly, proudly.

Live with purpose and passion.

Embrace what it means to live, to be alive, no matter the circumstances, no matter the challenges.

I want you to live. I want you to live experience joy in the smallest of moments. I need you to live. I need you to live because the world needs your light. Every moment of courage, every step you take forward, brings the world one step closer to a future of understanding, of community, of peace. You, my love, are a force of nature, even when you feel broken down, tired, or overwhelmed. Do not doubt your strength.

Living and loving are the greatest acts of resistance.

So, again, I ask you to live. Live with me in all of the grace and courage you can possibly summon. Live with compassion and strength. Live for yourself, for those who came before you, and for those who will come after you.

For as long as we breathe, for as long as we fight, for as long as we love.

WE. ARE. UNSTOPPABLE.

I love you,

Cal